Helping you in challenging times

The first time I attended a funeral conducted by a lady celebrant, it was a moment of inspiration. I could do that, I thought. And the thought stayed with me and became a dream.

The more I researched the subject, the more I realised it fitted with my skills and experience.

From teenage days, I enjoyed acting and entered my first public-speaking competition at the age of 15. 

At University, I studied drama alongside French but didn’t quite see myself as an actress. Instead, I entered the world of sales and spent the next 30 years in the technology industry. Honing my sales skills helped me to understand the importance of building relationships through empathy and trust, and how to question sensitively and listen attentively.  

I eventually became a freelance consultant specialising in competitive proposal-writing – winning business by designing and writing documents that persuade buyers to buy through compelling storytelling. This work also involved organising teams of people and keeping to tight schedules and deadlines. 

As an expert in my field, I regularly contributed articles and blogs for publication, presented webinars and conference sessions, and became a professional mentor.       

So, as a relationship builder, a storyteller and writer, a presenter and trainer, a manager of people and time, and a mentor, I had a full set of transferrable skills. 

And then there are my personal experiences of death and grief.

I decided early on in the process of becoming a celebrant to specialise in supporting families and friends who have lost their loved ones to suicide or sudden death.

Suicide has been a dominant feature in my life. When I was a teenager, I learnt that my paternal great-grandfather and maternal grandfather both committed suicides. In my twenties, after they had separated, my brother’s wife took her own life. When I was 36, my brother did the same. 

Understandably, his death had a profound effect on me and my parents. It took me over ten years to work my way through the grief and the practicalities of wrapping up his affairs, during which time I watched my parents’ anguish and did what I could to comfort them. Personally, I had excellent counselling, which helped me a lot.

Sudden death has also affected me. By sudden, I include anything unexpected that leads to premature death. From my half-brother’s death in a car accident to my father contracting chickenpox at the age of 74 and going from fit and healthy to dead within two weeks after encephalitis complicated his condition.

With suicides and sudden deaths, shock is interwoven with feelings of loss, and the grief process is often more acute and extended as we try to analyse and understand what has happened and why.

At an appropriate time in my life, when I could slow down my mainstream career and take on an alternative line of work, I trained with the UK Society of Celebrants and was proud to gain my funeral celebrancy certificate with high marks. 

I also invested in additional training to understand grief, in particular grief from bereavement through suicide.

So, my journey into celebrancy is deeply personal and motivated simply by the desire to bring comfort to those who are suffering through such challenging times.

****

Alongside my celebrancy work, I volunteer at the local parish council Bereavement Café, and I continue to mentor young and less experienced people to flourish in my original world of proposal-writing.